What is the next step?

I have been doing a lot of praying lately. I have not been praying because anything is wrong because things are actually good. Life is good. I have been doing some self examining as I like to do that about twice a year to look at my progress. I have a wonderful family but am constantly wondering if I am doing enough. I look at my husband and wonder if I am the kind of wife that he is proud of. I look at my friends and wonder am i returning the favor. I look in the mirror and wonder am I the woman that God has called me to be. Am I even the ladies small group leader that he has called me to be and did he call me to be it? So many questions right?
Well, after some soul searching I have realized that I still let what others think affect me. It's about 5% but it's still there. I don't mean people that I thought cared about me but now realized that they don't. I mean the people in my life that matter and that I should be accountable to? I have made a conscious decision that if you are in my life then I am OK with you holding me accountable. The way I see it is if you are important enough to be in my life then that is a given. I have been hurt by some friendships dissolving and it took a while to get over that. I am a really caring person and I love people but sometimes I don't get the hint that "they're just not into me". It's a lesson but I never regret caring. God has really been placing things on my heart to think about lately. I recently decided to start a women's bible study. It consist of 4 awesome ladies two of which I already knew from previous couples small group. A couple of ladies have missed and I have been struggling with that. God is really showing me his plan and not my own and that is hard for me. Those of you that know me know that I love to follow my plan and my calendar. I like for things to flow and when they don't I take it as though it was personal against me. I know deep down this is not the case and so this is a work in progress. I am at a place in my life where I am surrounded by terrific Christian women and an awesome family. My husband is so great and he just adores me and I adore and admire him just as much. I need to really blog more about him and give him a lot more credit. I honestly feel like we are best friends as we have dated since 5th grade so he kind of is! My focus is God, family, and friends. I am good enough and although I don't live in a fancy house or drive a fancy car I am good enough for the kingdom of Christ and that my friends is golden. This blog is going to be more about the journey with my family, friends, and whatever else God has for me to the destination so stay tuned!